I’m sick of putting on a face for Facebook and only showing my bright side… it’s exhausting. So Lindsey Living is now where I’m going to come to be me. All of me. Not just “look at the cute thing my son did the other day” me. I love to write, but I’m a very private person so this is a big step.
Okay, so I LOVE being a mom. I adore my children. I do not wish to hurt them or hurt myself. (Sometimes I want to hurt my husband, but that’s for many different reasons). My daughter was born 12 weeks ago and she’s a joy. I was told when I went back to work that I would be SO ready and actually relieved to rejoin the living. Truth is, I’m not. I could spend every second of the day with Abbie and be perfectly, blissfully happy. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel like a bad mom who was indeed ready to get back to work. It’s just how I feel. So there’s that.
And then there’s this sudden, overwhelming imperfect storm of anxiety, irritation and sadness that has me mentally paralyzed. I’ve read on the interwebs that this could have to do with weaning. I remember feeling the same sometime during the middle of the first year of my son’s life. I sought help, I felt better. So once again, I’m seeking help. I hope that it is in fact helpful. In the meantime, I’m trying to keep it together, keep my job (which I actually really like) and not to scare the crap out of or totally disorient my family. All while keeping up with the laundry and dishes.
Sorry, there’s no cute pic or stock image to go along with this post.
Raveled 
Hey there,
As one of the 47 followers on “LL” just want to say hi, hope all is well, and when in doubt, go to this movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JCf9MTJ5kI
-David
LOL! I needed that. Thanks, Dave:)
I had my worst postpartum “feelings” –whatever they were– between 3 and 9 months. Just when people think you should be all better is when it got really hard for me. I think some of it is hormones and sleep deprivation and etc etc etc, but I think there was also some realness and validity to whatever I was feeling during the postpartum time, too. Sending you a hug and encouragement.
Thanks so much, Angie. I don’t like knowing that you had these feelings too as I wouldn’t wish them on anyone, but still nice to know I’m not alone. You are the best!
[…] it’s not all talk and no walk. I said before that I was going to ask for help, and I did. Unfortunately, the perfect person to help me is not available until mid-December, but […]